End of the Beginning
by undertheguiseofme
Summary: A picture perfect marriage is usually, on closer inspection, not all that perfect.After 10 years of marriage,Bella and Edward are at a crossroads in their marriage.Which way will they choose?The path that takes them together?Or one that leads them apart?
1. Mediator

"He'll be here shortly. I'm sure something came up at the hospital." I sighed and straightened the hem of my navy wool skirt. I looked at the face of our marriage counselor and she gave me a kind smile. Maybe there was some pity traced in there. I didn't know. I nervously crossed my legs and began to pump my foot.

"Well, we don't have to wait for him. Is there anything you would like to tell me in confidence before he gets here?" She continued to smile at me and I was now sure it was a smile of pity.

I bit on my bottom lip. There was so much to tell. Where would I start?

"We've been together since high school. I know everything about him. No, I thought I knew everything about him. This past year, something has changed between us. Shifted. It's like we've grown so far apart the gap between us seems impossible to close."

"What do you think has changed, Isabella?"

I let out a deep sigh. "Please, call me Bella." She nodded her head at me and I continued. " I don't know. I just know that something has. I can't place my finger on it. It's like. . ."

The sound of the door opening made me turn in my chair. Edward walked in and quickly sat in the empty chair next to me. He didn't even look at me.

"How nice of you to join us," I sneered as I looked at him.

"Sorry. You know I just can't leave in the middle of a surgical case." He looked at me now, his green eyes held mine for a brief moment before I had to look away from him.

"So, you're a doctor Edward? And you're an assistant professor of English Literature, is that correct Bella?" Charlotte, our marriage counselor sized us both up as if she could fit our occupations with our selves.

I nodded my head. Edward answered with a terse yes. She just nodded at us before she wrote something on her notepad.

"Edward and Bella, I need to know what you both expect to gain from counseling. I hope you will be able to talk freely and honestly. Nothing will get resolved if you cannot communicate to each other. I'm just a mediator. I can offer you my help. It's up to the both of you to take that help. One person cannot save a marriage. It takes two."

I sighed and sank down into my chair. I wasn't much for optimism anymore. "And how many does it take to end a marriage? One?"

Charlotte looked at me in disbelief and I heard Edward sigh next to me.

"Stop being dramatic Bella. It doesn't suit you," he turned to say to me acidly.

"Bella, do you want to end your marriage to Edward?" Charlotte asked, leaning forward in her chair.

"I think it's already ended." I said softly.

Edward silently pushed himself out of his chair and walked to the door, not looking behind him as he left the office.

I threw my hands up to my face and began to cry. Charlotte teetered on the edge of her chair, not sure what to do. We were probably the first couple in all her years of practice to have said a marriage was over even before we had even finished one counseling session. She handed me a tissue and I took it from her. I didn't say anything as I grabbed my purse and made my way out of her office.


	2. The Imperial

"Bella? Hello?" Tanya waved her hand in front of my face. I jumped, startled at her movement. I collected the papers I had just copied into a big pile.

"Sorry. I spaced out for a minute." I smiled at her and turned to the long desk in the copy room to straighten the papers out.

"Spaced out? You were in a whole other galaxy Bella. Everything okay?" She moved next to me and began to help me sort out the papers.

"Yeah, just a bad day. I'm okay." I lied. It had been two days since I left the marriage counselors. Edward and I kept missing each other at home, which was a good thing. Wallowing in pity in the house Edward and I shared did not appeal to me, so I chose to wallow in pity at work. I was spending as much time as I could at work. And I figured Edward was doing the same.

Tanya North was the assistant professor of Victorian Studies and Romantic Literature Arts. She had transferred to the University of Washington from Alaska last year. She had grown up near the Denali national park and was thrilled to be working in Seattle.

My cell phone rang and as I dragged it out of my pocket, Tanya silently waved bye to me and left. I looked at the caller I.D. and my heart instantly leaped into the air.

"Hello?" I snickered to myself.

"Bella Cullen. Don't hello me." Alice's bright voice carried out to me across the phone line. "I'm in town. Only for a day or two at the most. And you are having lunch with me today."

I sighed. As much as I wanted to have lunch with Alice, I couldn't. I had a solo appointment with the marriage counselor.

"I can't Alice. I have an appointment at eleven this afternoon." I hadn't told Alice that Edward and I were seeing a marriage counselor. I would never normally keep something like that from my best friend, but I just couldn't tell her. Not yet anyway.

"So meet me afterward. Really Bella. You aren't trying to blow me off are you?" Alice laughed into the phone.

"Okay, how about we meet at one? I should be done by then." I smiled. It would be great to see Alice. Probably just what I needed. "Where at?"

"I'm staying at the Imperial. Why don't we just eat there? I hear the restaurant is top notch. And I can pick it up as a business expense. At least, I think I can," she giggled.

Alice was a successful fashion designer. Her entire life now was spent living in hotel rooms as she hopped from city to city. I envied her lifestyle. She seemed so free.

"Okay fine, I will join you for a ridiculously expensive lunch." I rolled my eyes at the thought.

"Yes, you will and you will like it. Bella, I will make you like the finer things if it's the last thing I do. See you at one."

I flipped my phone close and went back to organizing the mess of papers in front of me.My melancholy mood was lifted knowing Alice was in town. My day had been lightened considerably.

**A/N to ease any confusion this next part may give since it consists of two events happening simultaneously, Bella's POV will be normal text and the view of Edward will be italicized. **

"So Bella, two days ago you sat in that very chair and told me you thought your marriage was over. Do you still feel that way?" Charlotte was twirling her pen in her hand, watching me.

"Yes. Nothing has changed. He just dismisses me. He doesn't talk to me. The short time he is home, I never see him. It's like I'm not even there to him. I'm invisible. I gave up trying to talk to him. It doesn't matter. Everything I say or do is wrong in his eyes." I twisted my wedding band around my finger as I spoke. A symbol of never ending love. What a crock.

"How do you approach your conversations with your husband, Bella? What I mean to say, do you start them out with only the idea of confrontation? Or are your attempts at conversations genuine attempts to draw him to you?"

I just sighed and shook my head. "It doesn't matter to him anymore how I try to talk to him. I probably do yell at him more than I should. I want to wring his neck at times, if you want me to be perfectly honest. I get so frustrated that he won't listen to me. And I don't why. I can remember a time when we both listened to each other and supported each other. That's why this whole thing of this enormous, gaping hole between us is so hard. I don't know why he has blocked me out and frankly, I'm just so tired of trying to work on it. It's obvious he doesn't want to work on it." I rubbed my eyebrows. I could feel a headache coming on. I always got tense talking about Edward now.

"When was the last time you were intimate? You don't talk, but do you find yourselves drawn to each other intimately?"

I laughed at her question. "The last time we were intimate? Almost a year ago. Right around the time it all started to fall apart."

_I walked through the door and was surprised . Bella wasn't there, but Tanya sat behind a desk, looking over a pile of papers on her desk._

"_Bella isn't here?" I asked Tanya. She looked up from her papers and smiled at me. She was a very beautiful woman. Her strawberry hair tumbled from her hair in waves. She tucked a strand behind her ear before she got up from behind her desk._

"_No, she just said she had some things to do this afternoon." She walked toward me. "Anything I can help you with?" she smiled._

"So you haven't been intimate with your husband in a year? Nothing at all?" She jotted something down on her pad before she looked back at me. "How does that make you feel?"

I looked her square in the eyes. How does that make me feel? Was she real? "It makes me feel unwanted, unloved and unneeded. How's that for how I feel?" I spat at her.

"There is no reason to get angry with me Bella. I'm only trying to help you."

I just shook my head. This was pointless. Edward and I were past the point of help. "I don't think anything would help us at this point. We are irretrievably broken down." As I said those words, an enormous weight pushed down on me. I had to gasp for a breath of air. The heaviness and sadness of the reality of the situation had finally settled down over me. My hand flew my throat as I realized this.

"Bella?" Charlotte called out to me.

_I appraised Tanya as she stood in front of me. "I just came by to see if Bella wanted to go to lunch. I have a rare day off." My shoulders slumped and I sat on the edge of Bella's desk._

"_Is everything alright Edward?" She walked closer to me so that she was standing in front of me. "Bella seemed. . . off today. And now you seem to not be yourself."_

_I don't know why, but sitting on the edge of Bella's desk, with her co-worker asking me if everything was alright unleashed a torrent of tears._

"_No, I think it's over. It's. . . we've gone. . .it's a mess." I stifled my tears. "Sorry, Tanya. Did not mean to unload on you like that. Umm, when Bella gets back, tell her I was here." I got off the desk and stood there. I felt like a fool crying in front of Tanya. I walked toward the door when Tanya called out to me._

"_Edward?"_

_I turned around to face her._

"_I don't think it's a good idea for you to be alone right now. How about you join me for lunch?" She smiled at me._

"I don't want it to be over. I love him. But what can I do? It's like we are strangers now. We've lost our footing."

"Regain your footing. Strangers are only strangers until they are introduced. Perhaps you need to reintroduce yourself to your husband?"

"You make it sound so easy. How can I do that when he won't even be in the same room with me?" I was balancing myself on the edge of my chair. I pointed at my chest, my voice rising. "It can't be that easy. It just can't be."

Charlotte leaned forward and placed her arms across the top of her legs and clasped her hands together. "Bella, no one ever said doing anything worthwhile was easy. Marriage is one of those things. If you want to save this, you must work at it. Edward too. The problem will not resolve itself on its own. One of you must make the effort. At least one of you must extend an olive branch."

"_I had no idea Edward. Bella has never said anything to me. I'm so sorry." Her hand reached out across the table and she lightly grabbed mine. I had just told her everything and it felt like such a relief to get everything out._

"_She's just given up. She's decided to throw everything away, like what we have. . . had is disposable." I looked at Tanya._

"_I'm so sorry, Edward. She's foolish. To have a husband such as you. . . well, it's none of my business. I'm just sorry so Edward."_

_I looked down at my plate of uneaten food. The sounds of the busy restaurant crowded into my thoughts. I needed to go somewhere quiet._

"_I need to leave." I said softly._

"_Where will you go?" Tanya's soft voice called out to me. I looked up at her. Her blue eyes were staring back at me._

"_I need to get out of this place, it's too crowded and noisy." As I said this I felt her grip on my hand tighten._

"_I know where we can go. Let me take care of this." Her voice turned deeper, seductive. "If you want, of course. We can just talk. You seem like you need someone to talk to."_

_I just nodded. Talking would be good, but underneath her initial offer, I felt she was offering me something else and I wondered if I could take her up on it._

I stood up. Our hour was over and I was meeting Alice shortly.

"Thank you so much for this session Charlotte. You've given me much to think about."

"Good! Then I expect I will see you and Edward for your next scheduled couples session?"

I nodded at her. I was feeling a tiny bit of hope beginning to bloom. I turned and walked out of her office and stepping into the reception area, her secretary gave me a smile before I walked to the main door and out into a bright Seattle afternoon. I would be early, but I could catch Alice in her hotel room before she went down to meet me for lunch.

_I sat awkwardly on the edge of the enormous bed. Tanya sat next to me. What was I doing here? Tanya worked with Bella. I loved Bella. I couldn't do this. I didn't want to do this. In a mix of anger, sadness and regret I had taken Tanya up on her offer to go somewhere quiet. I hadn't known that somewhere quiet would've been upstairs from the restaurant we had just ate at. I had always wanted to stay in one of the Imperials suites if just for the night with Bella. But she had always laughed at it and said it was a waste of money to stay in a hotel in your own city._

"_Besides," Bella had said, "We would have just as much fun in our own bed." _

_I shook the memory from my head. I stood up._

"_I can't do this." I said to Tanya._

_Sensing my weakness, she stood up and kissed me. It was a nice kiss, full of passion, but it felt wrong. The lips were wrong, the taste was wrong. The person was wrong.  
_

_I gently pushed her away. "I can't Tanya. I'm sorry."_

_She glared at me. "Why not?"_

"_Because there are other people involved." I looked down at the wedding ring she was sporting and then at my own. " I love Bella." I turned my back to her and walked toward the door._

I got off the elevator and stepped out into the hall that led to Alice's room. I looked for room 365, taking in the ornate beauty of the hallway. Lush white carpets lined the hallways and the walls were lined in a beautiful, modern green and white floral wallpaper and frames of artwork had been placed with an eye for design. I had just rounded a corner when my eyes caught sight of my husband, stepping out of a hotel room.

My breathing hitched and my heart jumped in my throat. He caught sight of me, and a look of terror washed over him. I began to breath heavily, feeling a surge of anger rise. He began to walk toward me.

"Bella, it's not what you think."

Before I could respond, the door he had just left opened and Tanya stepped out into the hall holding his coat.

Tanya? That bitch.

"Edward, you forgot your co. . ." She fell silent as her eyes went past his form and saw me.

Unable to form words, I turned around and ran back to the elevator, with Edward calling after me and running behind me. I stopped and bending down, took off one of my shoes and threw it at him as hard as I could.

It hit him square in the chest.

"Don't fucking run after me now." I screamed at him.

"Bella, stop! It's not what you think!" He bent down to retrieve my shoe.

I flung myself into the elevator and cursed at the doors. I kept punching the button to close the door and each second that passed as they stayed open was another second he got closer to me. Finally they shut as he threw himself toward the closing doors.

Shocked, I could only stand there as the elevator took me down to the lobby. The doors opened and as I hobbled out, people gave me strange looks. I pushed past everyone and bent down and took off my other shoe and ran outside to my car. I got my keys out of my purse and put them the ignition. Turning the engine over, I didn't even look as I pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road.

Still, there were no tears. Just anger.

My cell phone began to ring. I looked at the number. It was Alice probably wondering where I was at, but I didn't pick it up. Instead, I pulled over on the side of the road and dialed another number.

Hearing the familiar "Hello?" on the other end was what finally sent the tears flowing.

"Dad?" I choked out between sobs. "I need to come home."


End file.
